I lost my Mom on December 2nd. She was the most courageous, fun, strong, spirited woman I had ever known. She was my Mom and I loved her dearly. From the outside looking in, we may have seemed so close. But the truth we didn’t talk everyday. I didn’t always go visit her every week…even though she lived 10 minutes away. When I was younger but had moved out of the home on my own, we sometimes didn’t talk every week when we had a lot going on, or before I had OG. Once email came along we talked more often that way, but there was not a strong pull for us to feel that we had to speak to each other constantly. I often wondered why it was like that.
So many people I know say their Mom is/was their best friend. They talk EVERY day, several times a day. Their Mom’s knew their innermost secrets. They would not even dream of making a decision without their Mom. Mom and I weren’t like that. I don’t know if it was because I was an only child and have always been very independent or what. Because of that I have always felt I could make decisions on my own and did not often seek counsel. I think she knew that. We knew that we loved each other and that was that. She was just my Mom.
Over the past few years, as I have grown up and had a child of my own, of course we communicated and visited more…but still maybe only a few times a week. Depending on what was going on. As Mom got sicker, we of course talked more. But still not everyday. Often times this made me sad. Made me wonder what was wrong with us. Why we weren’t like all these other Moms & daughter’s I hear talking about how they are BFF’s. I often wondered if she had this feeling too.
I realize, now that she is gone…that yes she WAS just my Mom, and that is all she needed to be. She was the most wonderful person in the world to me. I know she knew I loved her. And I knew she loved me more than anything in this world. She often told me so. I was her “precious one” and she was proud of me. And I was so proud of her.
Sometimes love is all you need…and I know we had that. She was my Just My Mom and I am so lucky to have had her in my life for almost 37 years.
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5 comments:
I'm so sorry for your loss :( Take care.
Glad to see you back Jules...so sorry to hear about your Mom passing. I know it's never easy, even when you know it's coming. From the stories on her carepage to many of comments left by your close friends it's obviously your Mom was loved by all.
I am sorry for your loss. Your post was beautiful and heartfelt. I have a similar relationship with my own mother. Welcome back.
What a wonderful post and a great tribute to your Mom.
Hey Julie,
I have been thinking a lot about you and your family lately. I hope you are doing well. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
Stacey
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