5 yrs ago today

Wow. Has it been that long? In some ways it seems like just yesterday. I even remember what I was wearing (a turquoise blue top, black comfy skirt, white cardigan and a lovely silver pendant on a turquoise blue ribbon necklace). In other ways it seems like many moons ago. But, 5 years ago today I heard words that would change my life and events to come forever. I went in for a simple 28.5 wk Dr's appt. Piece of cake...check, double check and get out of there. Not so fast. I was told my BP was extremely high and that I would need to be put on bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy. "Do you need to go back to work?" I was asked. "Umm, YEAH!" I replied. "Well, sorry, you will have to make it work to not go back to work" was what I heard.

So many thoughts went through my mind....I was not ready for this...I feel fine, how can my BP be so high...I have a ton of work to get back to....what am I going to do for the next 11.5 weeks while sitting around at home??!! Little did I know that 9 days would be all I would have to sit. And most of that 9 days would be spent watching all of the new coverage of Ronald Reagan's funeral and all of the pomp and circumstance surrounding it....the rest of it would be spent shuttling back and forth from non-stresss test to non-stress test. FUN.

Never in a million years did I think that our sweet baby would come early. I knew I was having issues, and I knew those issues presented challenges for her. I also though that the bed rest would cure it all. I knew she might be a few wks early...but I had no idea what was in store for us in the coming days.

As we quickly approach OG's 5th birthday in 9 days, it makes me a little sad. Sad that the baby is no longer a baby. Sad that she is growing up so quickly and is her own little person now. She is a big girl and she knows it. And I know it too. And it breaks my heart. But I am so proud of her and all she has been through. She had some rough days for a long time there...life was not easy in the beginning. But she was strong willed and persistent and was a fighter. And I see that in her now still...as she fights for her way and argues and won't give up on something she feels is not right. Maybe that is a good thing. I want her to grow up to be powerful...and not be afraid...and become a wonderful young lady. But for 9 more days (and for forever in my heart), she will remain my Baby Girl.